This is what I say to the kids many times a day, and it has a pretty high success rate. What I need to do is practice what I preach. To remember just because I am frustrated that it’s just a bump in the road and not a road block or the end of said road all together. My running has been a struggle since my half marathon in June. I’ve done a few longer runs and both of them have left me struggling toward the end and wanting to give up all together. Then I tell myself, did that kill you? NO. Are you doing more than you ever thought you could? YES. So, I suck it up and I finish the run. Sweaty. Grumpy. Defeated. I am so not ready for summer to end – but I feel like summer just isn’t a match made in heaven for Melody & Running. I’ll keep on keepin’ on and squeeze my runs in when I can and enjoy every step that I do take… because at the end of the day I’m doing it and I am getting it done.

We made our way through the city. We had trained on these roads, so that is how I treated this race. Just another training run, but this time I wanted to finish in a certain amount of time. Before I knew it we were at mile 10. TEN! Just a 5k left. My little toe got a wicked blister on it and it was painful… searing pain all the way up my leg. DUMB! Mile 11. Mile 12. lets finish this. Mile 13. I have point one to go. do you hear that? POINT ONE. I HAD DONE IT!!!!

Coming up on the finish line.. there he is. My man. Looking damn good for just having ran the 13.1 himself. He has my camera in hand and he asks how I feel and he was so excited and proud. I was almost there. Then.. there they are. My kids. My friends. My inlaws even came down to watch us finish. They were all yelling and clapping and shouting and the emotions took over. I yelled at them that they BETTER NOT MAKE ME CRY and there it was. FINISH.
I crossed the mat at 2:35:13. The medal was placed around my neck and I felt great. Tired, but I could have ran more!! I, me, Melody.. the couch potato, eater, drinker, knitter, 5k max runner, had done it. I had completed a half marathon.

Here come my friends & family. Sandy who ran an awesome race in under 2hrs.. Tommy T who ran it in just over 2hrs..and me. I wish I had got a pic of us 3.. DUMB. I dont have any pics of me with my girlfriends. DUMB . No family photos. DUMB. you’ll just have to take my word for it, it was by far the most amazing experience of my life. (other than having the m’s ofcourse)

I cannot thank my team leader Andy enough. My team all together who inspire and challenge and conquer their goals too. My parents, who were so proud from afar, but I think they were a little shocked that I had done this. They remember me when I was partier. not an athlete. My girlfriends, who cheered me on from Day 1… and now some of them are going to start out on their own running journy. Most of all. Sandy. He inspires, encourages me, supports and coaches. Now we have to flip a coin who gets to run what races, I dont think he ever thought that was going to be an issue.

I liked this ride, a lot! I wanna do it again.

Saturday night, we had a great team dinner with a ton of delicious food and amazing company. We all talked, calmed our nerves a bit and had a nice motivating speech from our team leader and a few others. But all I could think about the whole time was that I was going to run a freaking half marathon. This is not what I do. I do not run long distances. I drink. I socialize. Im a frakkin’ knitter for pete’s sake!

Sandy & I got home and got all our stuff ready for the morning. Laid out our outfits, ok, I laid out mine ..he threw his together and probably threw it on the floor. I put my number on my race belt (no pins in my shirt!) and finally was able to calm down enough to sit and slow down so I’d be able to sleep! And sleep I did! It was probably one of the best nights sleep I had, all the way til 4am, because I set my alarm clock wrong, and it went off an hour earlier. WHOOPS. 5am.. we were up and starting the process to get going. Waking up the M’s. Deep breaths and we were on our way. Our fantastic friends watched the M’s for us and would be waiting for us at the finish line. This soothed my soul, since it is a very rare occasion that I am away from them.. but I knew they were in good hands and I had nothing to worry about. Steph gave me an awesome LIFE IS GOOD hat with running sneaks and the BEST card.. this gave me even more confidence to do what I was about to do.

Sandy & I were off. We made our way down to the Y. The team all started to arrive . everyone stretching, laughing, being nervous and it was time to make our way down to the starting line. We had time to wait in line FOREVER for the bathroom and run to the starting line. 1523 runners. I was one of them. I was getting ready to run 13.1 miles. I had my training partner Carmen, from day 1 by my side. I smooched my hubs and wished him a good race and I’d see him at the finish line. I wished my teammates good luck and WE WERE OFF!

to be continued ….

Until… we came across a half marathon that was being held right here in Worcester in June 2010. At the same time we found this race, we also found that through the YMCA there was a training group forming for those who need guidance and the know how to actually train and complete a full 13.1miles. I thought it about it all weekend and finally on Monday morning, I had made the commitment and announced to everyone I knew what I had to decided to do. My parents, my girlfriends and anyone else who would listen. they were beyond supportive and had faith.

On a spring chilly morning in March, I showed up at the Central Branch YMCA, not knowing a soul and ran my first 2miles with my group. Some ran it without a problem, some struggled. But we all finished. We all found a person in our pace category and introduced ourselves, thinking we’d all be seeing a lot of each other. The adventure began..

After that, every single Saturday morning and some Wednesdays (for me), our team would meet and we’d set out on a new course, and a little bit more mileage each time. Each Saturday I was a nervous wreck. MORE mileage? The voices told me that there was no way I’d succeed. The voices told me to give up. The voices told me I was week. Each Saturday, I ran those miles. Each Saturday, that mileage got easier. Each Saturday, the voices got quieter and eventually quit all together. I was doing it. I was not weak. I was succeeding.

I had made the commitment. I was sticking to it. I was seeing changes. In my mind, body & soul.
March (42miles) , April (69miles), May (91freakin’ miles) … we ran in rain,snow,freezing temps and surprisingly unseasonal warm temps, wind and humidity. We had trained through everything. June was upon us. Days away from goal that my entire team, who I had got to know as not only as fellow runners, but as friends. I had seen them succeed and cheered them on, as they did me. I could not have accomplished this without seeing them twice a week. I could not have got as far as I did without my husband encouraging me and sharing his experiences and knowledge as an already accomplished marathoner. My friends… they complete me.

It was finally here. June 13, 2010. Everything I had worked for.

I can’t wait to tell you about that … next.

Each week as we check off another training week and the mileage adds up .. I say to myself ..  “Self, WAY TO GO!”  and then I pat self on back.      Each Saturday we set out for a new course and a higher amount of mileage.   Each Friday night, I was about to poo just thinking about the next morning and the what ifs. What if you break the cement?   What if you trip and fall and just end up the gutter and live there forever because your so mortified it’s just better that way?   What if the chub rub is so severe that you would rather chop off your legs and live with bloody stumps than continue?   What if your hair elastic breaks and your hair is all over the place ?  What if someone screws with my iShuffle and all there is something like Jonas Bros and no metal?   What if you can’t finish?

Just so you know, only one what if happened …  My hair was a mess!

These what ifs stopped about 2 weeks ago.   2 weeks ago when I commanded all voices to the STFU and let me just run.       I conquered the 6miles.   Then a week later when I commanded once again SILENCE and I conquered 7.2miles.   Including hills.   If I can run seven .. I can run 8.   By the time I run 8..  bring on 9.

Never in my wildest dreams (and I’ve had some wild dreams!) did I ever think I could do something like this.

Without the support of my husband,kids,parents and my friends  .. well,   thank you to all of you for pushing me and telling me good job.  It’s what keeps me going.

These are the new voices in my head that fuel me each  & every run.

Evil Voice 1:  “What are you doing Melody?

Evil Voice 2:  “Seriously!   A runner?  PUH-LEASE!”

Good Voice 1:  “Leave her alone, she’s doing great, she’s almost at mile 2″

EV1:   “yeah. 2.  Melody, you’ve been running for 20minutes straight, you should take a break and walk”

EV2   GREAT IDEA.  We like when you walk.   You deserve the break     Your really not a runner.. so walking is ok.

GV1:  (being smothered by a pillow)   KEEEPP RUNNNNING

EV2:  punches GV in the stomach

GV1:     silence.

EV1   i think she’s going to walk..  oh oh oh here she goes.. she’s going to stop all together.  WE WIN WE WIN

EV2   YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

GV1  crawling back … fighting for me.   I bring it back to life and hear a “you dont have to stop, you just ran 5 the other

day.. keep going.   you can do it girl.    keep going.

EV1:  wait. what is that?  what what what?   OH.. shit. she was just stopped at an intersection to cross the street.  BITCH.

EV2:  lets be louder and louder .. she’ll stop soon enough.  YOUR WEAK!  WEAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!

So.. yah.  this is the constant conversation I battle with.   Now,  I know I’m doing something that I have never ever done before and this empowers me.     All I need now is the confidence in myself and I’ll be a nonstop running machine.

That’s the  exciting stuff going on here at Chez Knitpho..    there is a wee bit of knitting going on.  But just a wee bit.    My motivation is all about changing my body, my lifestyle and to shut the voices down in my head.

I am writing to tell you that our relationship has gone on long enough.   You & I can no longer carry on this torrid love affair that we have for each other.       You have been in my life long enough making things all too comfortable and oh so easy.     But, I have had enough with your stretchy goodness.  Quit wooing me with your comfort when I slide you on.. and that button fastens so easily.  You know what I’m talking about, don’t pretend that you don’t.     Don’t make this harder on me.  It’s time.

To make it easy on us both,  I will continue seeing you until it just isn’t possible anymore.    Until you just hang around and make us both look bad.    I will say goodbye to you for good.   Prepare yourself, it’ll make it easier.      I know what your thinking, that you think I’ll take you back… right away.   That I won’t be able to live without you.      I’m here to tell you… not this time baby.   Not this time.        This lady is doing it up bigtime.   13.1 miles big.   You read right.  I am going to run myself my very first half marathon.    June 13, 2010.    I won’t have any use for you,  ever again.    My training has officially started, and you’ll be curbside in no time.

Thanks for memories.  We had goooooooooood times.

All my love,

Melody

17 days til my first 5k of the year. Must put those voices to rest and shove them to the back of the brain.

Have a great weekend !!! Hopefully I’ll have sort of knitting to show you that actually looks like something!

so what’s been going on with you? fill me in … even though I’ve read your status updates and or tweets.. so I do know whats going. I still read blogs and love to see what my friends near & far are up to.. so I thought I’d give the ‘ol blog a good old fashioned updated. so here’s whats be going on.

Running. Well, this last week I was down & out. I tweaked my back, with a muscle spasm or a pinched nerve and holy shit did it hurt. I could feel it getting worse and then from being so tense and hunched over – my wSohole body just tensed up and after a week, I’m finally almost 100%. It’s hard not to exercise – I mean when you want to and can’t is one thing, but to not go because your lazy is entirely different. I have a 5k in the middle of May, so I have some ground to make up as I am going for a speedier time. Speaking of races… the mister and my boy ran a 5k this past week ( day 1 of pure back torture) and this race was all about Miles and Sandy was just running with him and supporting our son the whole way. Miles ran in 30:14 and holy cow.. he’s awesome. They both are!

Mia ran too … it didn’t go as well. She started out strong, a quick trip and she was done for the day.

NEXT! KNITTING! ….

i knitted this Jane Austren dress from the new mason dixon book.. details on my Rav … she wore it for Easter and it was just the cutest thing ever. The pattern is a wee bit wonky and the fit didn’t go all that right. .but it looks great.

Mia picked out the deep pink print and we seamed up, added a hem and then hand stitched it to the knitted body.
It’s finally warming up here in the great Northeast, so she’ll be able to get some more use out of it.

I am in the midst of a KAL with 4 friends. We’re all knitting the same sweater for all our girlies. from size wee little baby size to Mia being the oldest. Pics soon.. I hope anyway.

So.. that’s the excitment around here- can you see WHY I haven’t updated. Back is finally on the mend and i am at 98% so I hope to start running again this week.. and with the warm temps – I can’t wait to get out there!!!!

Hope all is well with you blogland… hopefully there will be more to blog about since the sunny weather appeared and Im out of my winter blues funk.